I really liked the creative things people came up with for our assignment. My favorite was the iPumpkin :)

However, I think I need to clear some things up because people took what I presented the wrong way. Our assignment was to create something. Yea, something is kind of a broad term. My something was a beginning, a starting point. It was the thought process behind a decision I have been dealing with over the past year and a half. NOT the image I created. That's why at first I didn't want to share it with the class because it's not as important as my decision I came to; the thought process behind it. That was created simply as a visual representation of that decision. I was not ready at that point to start designing the look and feel of it yet. Yes it sucks! I know that! But to me that doesn't matter because that's not my assignment. It's a validation to me on the end result of my problem solving.

Since I obviously failed at communicating that, let me go though the thought process again. Like I said, I had this problem that's been weighing on my mind the last year and a half. My decision is a life changing one, so it's not a decision I will reach lightly. My problem is this: I have a site that I want to use as a portfolio site. I need to choose between two very different industries: entertainment and eCommerce.

They both have their positives and negatives. eCommerce would be easier to stay with. It's a safe bet. I do freelance and contract work. Yes I do love what I'm doing even when I'm working on programming backend stuff, but it's lacking an extra dimension that I know can drive me further. There's not much room for creativity and fun.

I love fun. I love playing and making games. I love problem solving. I have the skills, why not use them as an interactive web developer for a game company? The major negative to this industry is what Beth pointed out: it's a hard industry to get into. However, I'm not wanting to program games, I am wanting to handle their online media, ie. websites, online applications, etc. That means I need the self motivation and passion to drive myself to the next level to even be considered for said job.

So back to my question - do I play it safe and be moderately satisfied, letting the industry tell me where I should be, or go all out and just let my passion and creativity take me as far as I let it? Do I have enough drive to get there? It's a big risk to take this avenue because it really just relies on my self determination.

I have four kids and a husband that hasn't been able to work for over three years due to undiagnosed neurological health issues. He can't even get on disability because he has yet to be diagnosed, so yea, my finances are tight is an understatement. Do I have enough motivation? I have come this far, suffered this much, and the answer is simple: hell yea.

I have been though and still am going though too much to refuse to limit myself. That would be a disservice to myself and those that have helped me though this. No matter what I am going though I refuse to let that define who I am. It took this class to make me realize that. I value my family too much to settle for less than I know I can achieve. I am an interactive web developer and I have what it takes to work in the entertainment industry.

People focused way too much on that image and in hindsight I shouldn't have created (or at the least posted) it at all. At the same time, if I didn't post an image, would what I have said still been taken as seriously or simply put in the "bull shit" category because I had nothing tangible to show?

I know how to design and program web sites. I have been for the past five years professionally. I interned as a graphic UI designer for an online web application. I do freelance and contract work for web development. I know how to design and build this portfolio site. It's a whole different process than what I went though for this assignment.

I think I learned more from the class than I did about the assignment itself. I failed at effectively communicating what I did for the assignment and the thought process behind it (even though I explained it before I showed the image). I was afraid people would take it the wrong way, and they did. It really wasn't as important as everyone (or even myself) made it out to be. I gave it too much hype when all I was trying to do was express how not important it was to the assignment.